Reviving it, Old school.

So I rebooted this blog to share some things. I just started to type it out in full but I think it's too much to share. I'm not even sure if anyone will ever read this, but that could be a good thing... I'm going to bullet point the problems I feel so desperate to get off my chest. Then if I feel ok about it, I may elaborate on them at a later date.

• Immediate family member attempted suicide, was locked up for a few weeks. Now seems like a completely different person. I feel like I will never look at this person the same way, not just for the attempt but the hurtful things that took place in the weeks following.

• Health problems, intense pain & skin problems, suspected Polycystic ovaries.

• Losing my job, not sure when but store is in process of closing down. Struggling to find something new, had many interviews, but all are followed by rejections...

• Best & closest friend has moved to the UK. Feel like I have no one anymore.

• The one that goes without saying if you live in Christchurch, Earthquakes - TBH I don't really care about this anymore, too much else to think about.

• I withdrew from my Vet Nursing course, now I feel lost. Not sure what I am suppose to do now.

• Trying to save to go visit best friend in the UK, but worried I won't get another job...I have saved enough so far for my flights and probably some extra but I heard that if you have savings you cannot get the unemployment benefit. I know that I should use my savings to live off if I don't find a job, but it's not fair. I've always studied and worked and it's never been enough to save anything. I've worked from the age of 14. I've paid taxes since I was 14, why should I not get some of that back? Why should it go to someone who is sitting on their ass and hasn't even tried to get a job? (I'm not saying everyone on the dole is lazy, I know they're not, but I personally know ones that are..lol?)
  

Ok, that was kind of therapeutic.
So yeah, I know these aren't the worst problems in the world. But because they're all happening at once & I have a limited amount of people to talk to, it feels so hard. Some days I am fine, I am happy, and I feel everything will be ok. And others I cry uncontrollably and I feel that nothing is going to get better. For a while it felt like every day that I woke up there was just something more to add to the list. I'm sure it will be ok, it's just hard to stay positive.