Infinity Blues

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Amazing, Laura Marling

I discovered Laura Marling while I was obsessed with Mumford & Sons. I was watching a video of Marcus Mumford which happened to be a tour clip of Laura Marling's. You see, Marcus was the drummer for Laura, and they dated for some time. Anyway, Mumford & Sons on repeat was soon replaced by Laura Marling on repeat.

I'm just blown away by her. I can't even put it into words. She released her first album at the age of 17, Seventeen! All songs are written by her, they seem to be so mature too, not like other singers around her age...(see lyrics below) I initially loved her first album, Alas I Cannot Swim & it took me a while to even listen to her second album, I Speak Because I Can. But now I actually like ISBIC more. My favourite songs are Devil's Spoke, Rambling Man, Alpha Shallows, Goodbye England (covered in snow), Hope in the Air & I Speak Because I Can. Favourites from Alas I Cannot Swim - Ghosts, My Manic & I, Failure, Captain & The Hourglass, & You're No God.

She is said to be releasing her third album in September this year and I cannot wait.

Alpha Shallows

He could fall and she could weep
But as holy are her feet and hard with mention
But dear they may not speak
We fell tight when there is tension and their eyes could make us weak

And his heart was full of fire at the man he had become
And his soul was seldom higher with the falsities of fun
He could embrace sweet desire as in moments as they pass
But he feared it ever more, when he saw it didn't last

We walk up Holland avenue
and watch the rich as they consume
Their product made our hearts exude emptiness unrivalled by
The hunger that I could control
And he'd pray up to his God that he might save his soul

But the grey in this city is too much to bear
The grey in this city is too much to bear
And I believe you are meant to be seen but not to be understood

And I want to be held those eyes
I want to be held those eyes

You'll work your thumbs till they're sore
And you'll work my heart till it's raw
and you'll call and you'll call but you'll never be told
and I'll fall and I'll fall and I'll fall
and I'll fall and I'll fall and I'll fall

We are basic lies
We are basic lies

It's going to be pretty tough when you leave
You'll help to take a little part of me
To make sure you don't treat yourself mean
And I want to see all that you'll see

And we are basic lies
And we are basic lies

Monday, June 13, 2011

Quakes n New Things

So today Christchurch had yet another sizeable earthquake. A 5.5 first at 1pm. I was at the supermarket getting some lunch, I was at the checkout next to the liquor isle. Everything started crashing to the floor, I just stared and watched it all crash down. The girl serving me started panicking, she ran out from behind the counter and started pulling on my arm, I don't even think I moved. People were screaming and crying, so I went outside. When I heard the alarms etc going off I ran back to my shop to make sure my workmate was ok. She had gotten outside safely. We waited around outside for about half an hr, I couldn't get hold of our regional manager so I sent her a text. Then the phone rang (I took the portable outside with me) it was someone from the Petone store saying they'd heard from the regional and she'd said to just lock up and go home. Came home and Mum was getting ready to go stay down in Timaru with her sister.

So she left and then a 6.0 hit, I was upstairs and I just stood there thinking it would end, but it kept going to I started so run down stairs and a pane of glass fell out of the high hanging lamp shade and hit me in the head. It didn't smash, but it's pretty solid and fell from a great height so it's left a decent bruise. I stayed at home for a while by myself, just hung out with the dogs. Everything is ok now, still the occasional aftershock.

Tomorrow morning will involve cleaning up the mess at work. Working at a homewares store means lots of broken crockery and glass :(

In other news, I got mail today! My new bag and ring. I got a second bag but it's not as cool, and I got a camera pendant necklace but I don't like it so I've put it on Trademe (<--have a look!)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

my new necklace

I purchased 2 necklaces, a ring and 2 bags from a website called ASOS. So far I've only received this necklace. I love it. Not sure why, it's a pretty simple style. But yeah, love it.

Reviving it, Old school.

So I rebooted this blog to share some things. I just started to type it out in full but I think it's too much to share. I'm not even sure if anyone will ever read this, but that could be a good thing... I'm going to bullet point the problems I feel so desperate to get off my chest. Then if I feel ok about it, I may elaborate on them at a later date.

Immediate family member attempted suicide, was locked up for a few weeks. Now seems like a completely different person. I feel like I will never look at this person the same way, not just for the attempt but the hurtful things that took place in the weeks following.

Health problems, intense pain & skin problems, suspected Polycystic ovaries.

Losing my job, not sure when but store is in process of closing down. Struggling to find something new, had many interviews, but all are followed by rejections...

Best & closest friend has moved to the UK. Feel like I have no one anymore.

The one that goes without saying if you live in Christchurch, Earthquakes - TBH I don't really care about this anymore, too much else to think about.

I withdrew from my Vet Nursing course, now I feel lost. Not sure what I am suppose to do now.

Trying to save to go visit best friend in the UK, but worried I won't get another job...I have saved enough so far for my flights and probably some extra but I heard that if you have savings you cannot get the unemployment benefit. I know that I should use my savings to live off if I don't find a job, but it's not fair. I've always studied and worked and it's never been enough to save anything. I've worked from the age of 14. I've paid taxes since I was 14, why should I not get some of that back? Why should it go to someone who is sitting on their ass and hasn't even tried to get a job? (I'm not saying everyone on the dole is lazy, I know they're not, but I personally know ones that are..lol?)

Ok, that was kind of therapeutic.
So yeah, I know these aren't the worst problems in the world. But because they're all happening at once & I have a limited amount of people to talk to, it feels so hard. Some days I am fine, I am happy, and I feel everything will be ok. And others I cry uncontrollably and I feel that nothing is going to get better. For a while it felt like every day that I woke up there was just something more to add to the list. I'm sure it will be ok, it's just hard to stay positive.